Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The National Pap

As far-fetched as it seems, the National Post seems to lauching some sort of wingnut jihad against the Globe for reporting Goodyear's moronic statements. It sounds an awful lot like parody, but the commentaries are evidently serious attempts to say really, really stupid things.

1) Here is Don Martin: "The clash between religious creationism and political correctness flared briefly in the headlines again this week." Political correctness? Really?

You know the wingnuts are out of ammunition when they have to toss out that tired canard. This whole thing truly is a throw-back to the 80's. Martin accuses the Globe of launching a smear campaign, while he himself smears those who are genuinely concerned about Goodyear's commitment to science. Not only is his column singularly lazy and poorly reasoned, but he shows that he has just an amazing sense of humour:
"Perhaps Mr. Manning has the right idea. Mr. Harper should call all the whitecoats together and put them in a room until their 180 IQs devise a worthy scientific stimulus experiment for the sector’s $5-billion boost in government spending.
If nothing else, they always could salute Charles Darwin’s 200th birthday by declaring as one voice that dinosaurs were indeed wiped out 65 million years before the age of homo sapiens. Except Barney, of course."

Yeah, Don, you're absolutely hilarious:

2) Not to be outdone, Martin's colleague Jonathan Kay was positively apoplectic, calling the Globe story a "FRONT PAGE SMEAR ON RELIGION!" Kay attempts the amazing feat of conflating personal religious faith with the public views of the Minister of Science about science.

Like Martin, he is left without a relevant argument to pursue, so he decided to bring out the big rhetorical guns to blast the whole issue into submission. Whereas Martin ended with Barney, Kay goes for the full Monty:
"There is a broader issues at play here. So permit me to leave the fishbowl of Canadian politics for a moment. Seventeen years ago, in the case of Planned Parenthood v. Casey, a plurality of U.S. Supreme Court Justices wrote these soaring words: "At the heart of liberty is the right to define one's own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life. Beliefs about these matters could not define the attributes of personhood were they formed under compulsion of the State."

Quite the rhetorical flourish, with an appropriate American touch. Too bad it has nothing whatsoever to do with the Globe story that got him so sweaty in the first place:

With friends like these at the National Post, Harpoid won't need enemies. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that they're on the Liberal payroll. Keeping the Goodyear story alive for another news cycle -- now that's tactical brilliance.

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