Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Foreign Policy in the Republic of Newfoundland

Orwellian News has already taken a glimpse at prospective democracy in the Republic of Newfoundland: http://orwellianspin.blogspot.com/2009/03/democracy-in-republic-of-newfoundland.html

And we've analyzed DW's Excellent European Adventure:

So to mark the 60th Anniversary of Confederation, let's take at look at what foreign policy would look like in the Republic of Newfoundland. Today's Tely offers as good a glimpse as we're going to get as long as the maple leaf flies in St. John's:

Hedderson gets off to a good start: the Tely has him headlined as meeting with EU Allies. Sounds serious enough to me. NL has formed alliances with foreign nations and is coordinating strategy with them. "We're gathering intelligence and getting some good feel for what this is all about," he told the Tely. While the second part sounds iffy, the first part sounds like 007 territory.

NL not only has a foreign policy; it is conducting intelligence operations. And he has a fast-paced schedule that includes meetings with embassy officials from Denmark, Sweden, Lithuania, Finland and non-EU members Iceland and Norway.

While Hedderson had to concede that he failed to arrange meetings with pro-ban ambassadors, he said that they tried really hard. "We've asked, but in a couple of days, it was very, very difficult to get audiences," Hedderson said. I guess we should cut the new Foreign Minister some slack, since he did give them 48 hours, and he is in a bold and brilliant government from the most optimistic place on the entire planet. Surely the ambassadors would know how very, very busy he is going forward. So what's next?

"We're looking to talk with anyone that [sic] will talk with us, because I need to see the good, the bad and, of course, the ugly," Hedderson said. He added, "There's a big wave over there, and we're just trying to find at least some of the trickles." This must be part of the intelligence operation: tell the press that you have meetings scheduled with allies, then tell them that you're meeting with anyone who will have you over to their place. Must be part of an ingenious plot to keep everyone off-balance while the real negotiations get done in a Blue Line Cab. The big wave must be a secret code word of some sort, since it's unintelligible.

Fittingly, the Tely ends with DW: "Last week, specifically, I wrote every (EU) ambassador in Ottawa a personal letter asking them to address it, pointing out to them that it's our understanding that the EU may even have legal opinions that may prevent them from doing this, that may cause them to have some sober second thoughts."

Well then, if DW sent a personal (as opposed to impersonal) letter setting the record straight, then they will certainly be having second thoughts. What those thoughts will be is anyone's guess.

Meanwhile, Hedderson has been sighted driving back and forth across Ottawa in a Blue Line Cab, talking excitedly about the big wave.

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